Wedding Invitation Stationery

Yes! Its a huge no no for wedding etiquette, its considered extremely tacky.

Gifts or registry information should only be mentioned on the bridal/wedding SHOWER invitations.

Bridal Shower: The bridal shower is a gift giving event and is designated to "shower" the honoree with gifts of items the will need to establish their new home together. So that your guests will know what you need and/or want this is why you include the registry information in this invitation.

Wedding Reception: Is a celebration of your marriage/vow exchange. This is not a gift grab event. No couple should expect gifts for their wedding reception, its completely optional to your guests. While most of your guests will bring a gift to the reception by sending them the registry information implies that you are expecting or mandating gifts from all of your guests.

For the wedding, registry information is done by word of mouth only. By your bridesmaids, parents, siblings, etc. Most people will ask around for what you need or want.

Another thing on bridal shower etiquette, is that its considered tacky to have a bridal shower if you’ve previously been married or already live with your future spouse. The bridal shower is to "establish" a home, if you’ve been married before or live with your future spouse already you should already be established with the things your home needs. Though – I have gone to bridal showers for first time brides who live with their fiance and let the faux pas slide, since they may not know proper etiquette and believe the bridal shower to just be a traditional must have.

Good luck and Congrats!

Yes! It’s considered to be very rude and presumptive. The only time it is okay to mention a registry is on shower invitations since the shower is hosted by someone other than the recipient. If you want gifts off your registry, it’s best to disseminate that info by word of mouth through your family.

Alot of people on here will tell you its rude. Personally I think it is kind of rude . It’s like telling people you want gifts.Now alot of people do post there registry information on there wedding websites . You can also tell family and friends and let them pass the information around.

Etiquette hardliners will say yes… but as someone who has been a wedding guest, I find them useful and appreciate them. Unless I’m attending the wedding of a good friend (which has only happened twice of the many weddings I’ve been to), without that registry card I wouldn’t have a CLUE what to buy. With most weddings I’ve been to, including weddings of relatives, I don’t know them well enough to call them up and ask for their registry info. Half the time I don’t know how to contact them!

So, my vote is to put them in there, along with any other pertinent info such as when/where the rehearsal dinner is, maps to get there, etc. Make it easy on your guests by NOT making them have to chase down information they want and need. Convenience, convenience, convenience.

Very rude. Some will argue that the guests find making a phone call to your mother to find out where you are registered is some huge inconvenience. That’s just shocking to me. One phone call or one email in your day over the several months is just something a guest doesn’t have time for, then they don’t have time to shop for it either.

Maybe it’s a northern thing but I’m southern and I know if someone were to put all 15 of their gift grubbing tacky looking cards in the invite, I’d be shocked. Anyone in my grandmother’s generation would be far more than shocked but actually calling people to talk about how rude the bride was.

I find it perfectly ok to put a wedding website in with the invites. On the website you can have directions to the church, hotels in the area, the places the bride and groom registered, maybe the story of the proposal. Some brides use it to communicate with the bridal party by posting different dresses for them to give their opinion on. That’s perfectly ok.

They can be included in the shower invites as that is thrown by someone else for the purpose of showing the bride with gifts. Registry information is suppose to be included in that.

But you never ever mention gifts in an invite without coming across as incredibly rude. Imagine getting invited to a birthday party and the birthday kid saying required 1 wii game for admittance. All etiquette guides say the same thing–don’t include those cards. There may be a few people who wouldn’t find it offensive but most would.

It is rude. You can ,however, have whoever is throwing your bridal shower put them in with those invites.

It’s rude.

And with most of your guests being internet-savvy, the people who would actually go out and buy a present for you instead of giving you a check, will also spend the 5 minutes going to the websites of Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Macys, Wal-Mart, Kohls, Pier One, and whatever other major department store is near you to see if you are registered there. A few of them will actually pick up the phone and ask. But most of them can easily find this information on the internet.

And your older relatives probably know already where you are registered because they asked your mom.

And if you do, it makes guests very angry, and they consider reprisal, talking bad about you is the least of these. They could skip the gift entirely, or cut back on what they were going to buy.
And it is not wise to alienate people who you will be wanting to give you gifts in the future. Baby showers, house warming, anniversaries, kids birthdays. People have long memories, and will not forget that you were rude and demanding. And that is the perception, rude, demanding.
Get a website, and include that registry info on there, along with maps to the ceremony and reception, pictures of you and hubby, details about the wedding. It is OK to write a website on the RSVP card, if it has info on it pertinent to the wedding, and is not just another way to beg for gifts. Keep the registry cards, and give them to the Moms, and the bridesmaids, so if someone asks, they are armed with the right info to give a guest who asks for info.

I disagree with Miss Manners, who says that it is never good etiquette to tell a guest what you want for a present. I think that is fine to give info to a guest, IF they ask. And as long as it is politely worded, giving them options. Gee, if the guest asked, how rude is it to say "no, I won’t tell you, ’cause Miss Manners says it’s rude!?" Say: "thanks for asking Aunt Mable, and yes, we are registered at—–. did you know Bob and I are saving up for a down payment on a house?"
See, you did not ask for anything, you just politely informed Aunty. She asked you. And make sure the request for money is backed up by a reason that is not considered to be rude. You don’t ask for money for the honeymoon. It is rude to ask people for money to go on a trip, that is considered a luxury item, much like a request for a big screen TV would be considered. Ask for money for practical, making a life together things. A trip is not mandatory for that, and a big screen TV, presumably with the stereotypical husband sitting in front of it with a beer and in his underwear, is not considered to be conducive to marital bliss, either.
Go to Search Answers! and look this one up, and find Rivers, and many many other Answers! about this.
And in case you wonder, Rivers used to think registries were rude, and I was not alone with that thought. Right up until the day I had to buy a present for a bride I barely knew. Then I thought it was really helpful of her to tell me where she was registered, when I asked her. and easy not to have to worry that what I picked out would be wrong.
And I still think it is fine. Even two personal experiences with greedy brides. One who went to the store and picked out things for her registry just to please her mother who was insisting she have a registry, and picked out dumb and stupid stuff, and got mad, and her mother got mad, when people bought her those things. And the bride did not thank people. And her mother came to work, and told everyone that I had bought stupid gifts.
And another bride who did not understand that when you say you want 12 silverware place settings, the giver decides how many the bride will get of that. She was mad because I did not spend hundreds of dollars to get her all 12, and publicly confronted me with this. . Moral of the story, put only those things on the registry that you really do want and will use. Include practical things of several price ranges. And when you ask for 12, you might get 3. And for pity sake, thank people for the gifts!

When I got married, I had never heard of Yahoo Answers, and I hadn’t ever read up on all the etiquette rules on weddings. I didn’t know any better, so I put my registry info in with my invite. I put it on the details card with the map to the venue. OOPS! Now that I know better, I’m beyond ashamed. I can only hope my friends and family didn’t judge me too harshly. I honestly can’t figure out why the lady who designed my invitations with me didn’t say something to me???

I have received invitations to weddings that didn’t have registry info, and its pretty easy to research it on my own. Most people register at the same places. A department store, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Crate & Barrel, Williams Sonoma, etc. It takes about 10 minutes of my time at work (where I have nothing better to do) to do an easy registry search at the major outlets. I’ve always been successful. If I had any problem, I’d either contact the couple directly, or contact a mutual friend.

Don’t put the cards in the invites. You never know whom you’ll offend.

I agree with those couple of people. It’s not polite to tell people "I want you to be here at my marriage because you are important to me and I care about you" and then follow up with "And be sure to bring me a gift from this handy list." You tell people what kind of gift you might like if and only if they ASK. Never bring up this subject yourself, or you will be labeled as greedy, greedy, greedy. And rude.

If you want people to ask you what kind of gift you’d like, then create opportunities for them to do so. Do your RSVPs the old fashioned way, by telephone. No, the bride and groom don’t take and make all those calls themselves; the familes, friends, bridesmaids, and groomsmen are drafted into service. This used to be their primary function back before The Wedding Industry decided to turn them into cash cows for extra parties.

Your helpers should be prepared with an answer that gives several options, not just "Target." Some people don’t like registries, some people love giving $$$, some people hate giving $$$, and so on. Something like "They collect antique coins, they enjoy surfing and video games, they’re registered at Target, and they welcome contributions to The Honeymoon Fund" is a way to help people choose something you’d like without sounding like a little hitler.

Your helpers should also be prepared to tell people how dressed up to get. This is a woman question, and the best answer is something like "My Aunt Martha is wearing a dressy dark green business suit with a lacy blouse" or "I don’t think the ladies will be wearing long dresses, just Sunday best."

Misunderstanding about who is who is not invited should be handled prompty. "There is a misunderstanding. The invitation is for Marge and Homer Simpson. Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are not on the guest list. Do you need time to talk to Homer before you respond?"

I hope this was helpful. Congrats and best wishes.

OHHHH yea. You need to let your bridesmaids and family spread that word around. Most people will ask. If someone throws you a shower, they can include that information in your shower invitations.